11. WIFE BEATING
Wife-beating in the Muslim world
comes from the teachings of Islamic religious texts such as the Quran and the
Hadiths. Therefore, domestic violence is very common in Muslim society and
Muslim women accept the violence as ordained by God.
Quran says in verse no - 4:34
Men have authority over women
because God has made one superior to other and because men spend their wealth
to maintain them. Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts
because God has guarded them. As for those whom man fear disobedience, he
should admonish them and send them to beds apart and beat them. Then if they
obey, no further action is necessary against them. Surely God is great.
To have a better understanding of
Surah 4:34 few translations are quoted.
Yusuf Ali: Men are the protectors
and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than
the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the
righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence
what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear
disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share
their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience,
seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great
(above you all).
Pickthall: Men are in charge of
women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because
they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the
obedient women, guarding secrets that Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion,
admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they
obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted and
Great.
Shakir: Men are the maintainers
of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they
spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding
the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear
desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat
them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is
High, Great.
All three translations agree with
each other and establish the Quran promotes wife-beating. In fact the Qur'an
states Allah created men to be maintainers of women and men are superior to
women, therefore Allah did not create men and women as equals.
The Qur'an also states the
prophet Job (Ayyub) was permitted to beat his wife in Surah 38:41-44:
Ayyub, a pious man, got angry
with his wife for what she had done. But he was ill and could not take his wife
to task, so he swore an oath that if Allah healed him, he would strike her with
one hundred blows. When Allah healed him, he was in a dilemma. How could her
service, mercy, compassion and kindness be repaid with a beating? At the same time it was a promise to Allah. It
must be respected. So Allah showed him a way out, which was to take a bundle of
thin grass, with one hundred stems, and hit her with it once. Thus he fulfilled
his oath and avoided breaking his vow.
Mohammed gave his wife Aisha
physical pain by striking her in the chest.
Ayesha told that once when it was
her turn to spend the night with Allah's Messenger, he came, turned his side,
put on his mantle and took off his shoes and placed them near his feet, and
spread the corner of his shawl on his bed and then lay down till he thought
that I had gone to sleep. Then, he took hold of his mantle slowly and put on
the shoes slowly, and opened the door and went out and then closed it lightly.
I covered my head, put on my veil and tightened my waist wrapper, and then went
out following his steps till he reached Baqi. He stood there and he stood for a
long time. He then lifted his hands three times, and then returned and I also
returned. He hastened his steps and I also hastened my steps. He ran and I too
ran. He came (to the house) and I also came (to the house). I, however,
preceded him and I entered (the house), and as I lay down in the bed, he (the
Prophet) entered the (house), and said: Why is it, O' Ayesha, that you are out
of breath? I said: There is nothing. He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the
Aware would inform me. I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be
ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story). He said: Was it the darkness
(of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He struck me on the
chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His
Apostle would deal unjustly with you? She said: Whatsoever the people conceal,
Allah will know it. He said: Gabriel came to me when you saw me. He called me
and he concealed it from you. I responded to his call, but I too concealed it
from you (for he did not come to you), as you were not fully dressed. I thought
that you had gone to sleep, and I did not like to awaken you, fearing that you
may be frightened. He (Gabriel) said: Your Lord has commanded you to go to the
inhabitants of Baqi' (to those lying in the graves) and beg pardon for them. I
said: Messenger of Allah, how should I pray for them (How should I beg
forgiveness for them)? He said: Say, Peace be upon the inhabitants of this city
(graveyard) from among the Believers and the Muslims, and may Allah have mercy
on those who have gone ahead of us, and those who come later on, and we shall,
God willing, join you.
In another hadith, Abu Bakr (the
first Rightly-Guided Caliph of Islam), strikes (his daughter) Ayesha violently
with his fist. Ayesha said, : Abu Bakr came towards me and struck me violently
with his fist and said, "You have detained the people because of your
necklace." But I remained motionless as if I was dead lest I should awake
Allah's Apostle although that hit was very painful.
In the following hadith, Abu Bakr
informs Mohammed that he slapped Khadijah’s daughter for asking for more money,
and Mohammed responds by laughing and tells Abu Bakr his wives are also asking
him for more money. Abu Bakr (the first Rightly-Guided Caliph of Islam) and
Umar (the second Rightly-Guided Caliph of Islam) respond by slapping Mohammed's
wives, Ayesha (for the third time) and Hafsa. Later on, Mohammed gives a decree
instructing men not to beat their wives, but changes his mind once Umar informs
him that some of the women have become emboldened towards their husbands. Women
complained to Mohammed about domestic violence and he always responded by
stating that they are not the best among women and a man will not be asked as
to why he beats his wife.
In another hadith, Ali (the
fourth Rightly-Guided Caliph of Islam) gives a slave-girl a violent beating in
front of Mohammed. As for Ali, he said “Women are plentiful, and you can easily
change one for another. Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.” So
the Apostle called Burayra to ask her and Ali got up and gave her a violent
beating, saying, ‘Tell the Apostle the truth.’”
In the following hadith, a woman
complains to Mohammed about her husband and shows him where he had beaten and
bruised her. Mohammed listens to the husband’s side of the story and comes to
the conclusion the reason why his wife is complaining is because he cannot
sexually satisfy her and she wants to go back to her ex-husband, when all she
is really saying is that he is abusing her. Instead of scolding her husband for
beating her, Mohammed says she cannot re-marry her ex-husband unless she has
sexual intercourse with her present husband first.
Fatima bint Qais reported: My
husband Abu 'Amr b. Hafs sent Abu Rabia to me with a divorce, and he also sent
through him five si's of dates and five si's of barley. I said: Is there no
maintenance allowance for me but only this and I cannot even spend my 'Idda
period in your house? He said: No. She said: I dressed myself and came to
Allah's Messenger. He said: How many pronouncements of divorce have been made
for you? I said: Three. He said what he ( Abu Rabia) had stated was true. There
is no maintenance allowance for you. Spend Idda period in the house of your
cousin, Ibn Umm Maktum. He is blind and you can put off your garment in his
presence. And when you have spent your Idda period, you inform me. She said:
Mu'awiya , Abu-Jahm and Usama b. Zaid were among those who had given me the
proposal of marriage. Thereupon Allah's Apostle said: Mu'awiya is destitute and
in poor condition and Abu-Jahm is very harsh with women (or he beats women),
you should take Usama b. Zaid (as your husband). Therefore Mohammed accepted
that three pronouncement of divorce is only requirement for divorce. There is
no responsibility of husband for maintaining ex-wife even for Idda period. Even
Allah's Apostle cannot prevent a man from beating his wife as in the case of
Abu-Jahm. The condition of believing Muslim women was not so good in Islam during the
time of Mohammed.
In hadith, Ayesha recorded that
she had not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women, meaning
Muslim women were suffering more than their pagan and Abrahamic counterparts.
Finally in the "Farewell
Sermon", Mohammed compares women to domestic animals and once again orders
men to beat their wives. "You have rights over your wives and they have
rights over you. You have the right that they should not defile your bed and
that they should not behave with open unseemliness. If they do, God allows you
to put them in separate rooms and beat them but not with severity. If they
refrain from these things they have the right to their food and clothing with
kindness. Lay injunctions on women kindly, for they are prisoners with you
having no control of their persons. You have taken them as a trust from God,
and you have the enjoyment of their persons by the words of God, so understand.
We can now summarize.
· Mohammed provided tacit approval of wife beating
by not scolding Muslims for beating their wives.
· Mohammed himself struck his wife in the chest
· Mohammed referred to women who spoke-out against
abuse as "not the best among you"
· Mohammed forbid Muslims from questioning men who
beat their wives
· Mohammed allowed others to hit his wives (the
very women whom all Muslims adore and refer to as "the Mother of
believers")
·
Three of the four Rightly-Guided Caliphs beat
women.
·
Mohammed reaffirms the command of wife-beating
in his parting sermon.
It is clear from all of the above
that wife-beating has been an accepted part of Islam since its inception. Mohammed
was not against domestic violence and indeed permitted wife-beating in Islam.
Muslim scholars have written a
lot of commentary in relation to wife-beating in the Qur'an. Here we will only
quote a few scholars:
Tafsir Ibn Kathir
"When a husband notices
signs of rebelliousness in his wife (nushuz), whether in words, as when she
answers him coldly when she used to do so politely, or he asks her to come to
bed and she refuses, contrary to her usual habit; or whether in acts, as when
he finds her averse to him when she was previously kind and cheerful, he warns
her in words without distancing from her or hitting her, for it may be that she
has an excuse. The warning could be to tell her, "fear Allah concerning
the rights you owe to me," or it could be to explain that rebelliousness
nullifies his obligation to support her and give her a turn amongst other
wives, or it could be to inform her, "Your obeying me is religiously
obligatory". If she commits rebelliousness, he keeps from sleeping (and
having sex) with her without words, and may hit her, but not in a way that
injures her, meaning he may not (bruise her), break bones, wound her, or cause
blood to flow. (It is unlawful to strike another’s face.) He may hit her whether
she is rebellious only once or whether more than once, though a weaker opinion
holds that he may not hit her unless there is repeated rebelliousness."
If the wife does not fulfill one
of the above-mentioned obligations, she is termed "rebellious" (nashiz),
and the husband takes the following steps to correct matters:
(a) Admonition and advice, by
explaining the unlawfulness of rebellion, its harmful effect on married life,
and by listening to her viewpoint on the matter;
(b) If admonition is ineffectual,
he keeps from her by not sleeping in bed with her, by which both learn the
degree to which they need each other;
(d) If the disagreement does not
end after all this, each partner chooses an arbitrator to solve the dispute by
settlement, or divorce.
Al-Nawawi
Man admonishes wife as a first step. Then he
attempts a new direction, appealing to her femininity and emotions, by making
her feel that he doesn't want her or love her. When this doesn't work, he says
to her: With you, I have reached a stage which is only appropriate for inhumane
people - the stage of beating.
How should the beatings go? Maybe
a light slap on her shoulder, or maybe a not-so-light pinch, or a kind of
gentle shove. He should make her feel that he wants to reform her, and let her
know that he is displeased with her. It is like saying: None of the measures
that work with sensitive people work with you. A word would be enough for any
wife with lofty morals, but with you, words do not help.
Beating is one of the punishments
of religious law. What kind of people is beaten? Virgin adulterers, both men
and women, are beaten as a means of discipline. Who else is beaten? A person,
who has committed an offense and was sentenced by the judge, is beaten. Who
else is beaten? By beating his wife, the husband is saying: You've committed a
grave sin that merits beatings."
Egyptian Cleric Galal Al-Khatib
Explains Wife-Beating in Islam
In a nutshell, it appeared as
part of a program to reform the wife. [According to the Koran], first 'admonish
them,' [then] 'sleep in separate beds, and beat them.'...This method appeared
as part of the treatment of a rebellious wife. I am faced with two options –
either the family will be destroyed by divorce, or I can use means that may
bring my wife, the mother of my children, back to her senses. The first means
is admonishment...The second means of treatment is 'sleeping in separate beds.'
Why? Because this targets her honour. A
lot could be said about this. The strength of a woman lies in her ability to
seduce the man. The man is strong and can do whatever he wants, but the woman
has a weapon of her own. This weapon can be targeted. Many women will come back
to their senses, when they realize that this is what's involved. Lastly, it is
beating. By Allah, even if only one woman out of a million can be reformed by
light beatings, that is good for society. It's not really beating, it's more
like punching. It's like shoving or poking her. That's what it is.
Dr. Ahmad Al-Tayyeb,
Discipline. The husband has the
right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she
disobeys him in something sinful, because Allah has enjoined disciplining women
by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey. The Hanafis
mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his
wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not
responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not
menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.
Statistics on Domestic Violence
in the Muslim World
Muslim Statistics (Domestic Violence)
Afghanistan
Nearly 90 percent of Afghan women
suffer from domestic abuse, according to the United Nations Development Fund
for Women. Despite that, there are less than a dozen shelters for women in
Afghanistan.
Iran
Statistics in Iran show that 66%
of Iranian women, at the beginning of the marriage have been at least
physically abused once. Some forms of physical abuse that occur include:
biting, bondage, imprisonment in their own home, scratching, hair pulling, and
even starving.
Iraq
A recent report by the UN
Assistance Mission for Iraq (UNAMI) registered 139 cases of violence against
women in the northern region of Kurdistan in the second half of 2008 alone. It
said 163 women were killed as a result of domestic violence in Kurdistan in
2009. Experts suggest the number is less than 5 percent of the real estimates.
Jordan
91% of university students polled
by the Jordanian Human Right Center approve of wife beating. An earlier study
by another organization found out that a majority of WOMEN also supports the
right of a husband to beat the wife.
Pakistan
Up to 4,000 women are burnt each
year, almost always by husbands or in-laws, often as “punishment” for minor
“offences” or for failure to bring in a sufficient dowry.
Arab States
One in three wives in Arab suffers
physical or psychological violence from the side of their husband.
Turkey
According to a government study
titled “Research on Domestic Violence against Women in Turkey,” 41.9 percent of
Turkish women are subjected to physical and sexual violence. Women at a
“low-income level” are assaulted at a rate of 49.9 percent, while the number
for higher-income women is 28.7 percent.
South Mediterranean Region
Violence
against women in the home is the main emergency needed to be tackled by the
Mediterranean's southern shores. The phenomenon affects between 40% and 75% of
married women, who suffer mainly at the hands of their husbands. This is the
glaring figure contained in a study carried out by the Euromed Gender Equality
Programme (EGEP), which has been presented at a conference held in Brussels.
The 'Programme to Violence against women in the
home is the main emergency needed to be tackled by the Mediterranean's southern
shores. The phenomenon affects between 40% and 75% of married women, who suffer
mainly at the hands of their husbands. This is the glaring figure contained in
a study carried out by the Euromed Gender Equality Programme (EGEP), which has
been presented at a conference held in Brussels. The 'Programme to enhance
quality between men and women in the Euromed Region', which is financed by the
European Union as part of neighbourhood policy, focussed on nine partner
countries between 2008 and 2011: Algeria, Egypt, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon,
Morocco, Palestinian Territories, Syria and Tunisia.
Conclusion
Violence against women is present
in all under-developed countries. It exists even in Western societies. Muslim
world becomes different where even the victim considers it right. Wife beating
is ordained by God. Most women in Islamic faith are grown with the concept of
men having the right to admonishing and beating their wives. Muslim women
believe men and women are not equal. Men are provider and women are dependent.
They cannot accept modernity and fall back to Islamic concept and Islam is a
religion of 6th century. Wife beating in Islam will
continue.
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